Apparently no one has told people in Arkansas that they can advertise online. Waiting for my story to be edited tonight I looked through Sunday’s Democrat-Gazette classifieds. It’s a full two sections, 14 pages in all, of everything ranging from personals to government meeting announcements.

The best of the three-liners:

• In the personals – “Rachel, I would like that. Call me or write. Please be sincere.”
• Under special announcements – “I, Jimmy J. Wheeler, am not responsible for any debts/actions of Shona D. Golen Wheeler, this day forward.”
• Cats for sale – “Tom cat, 21-years-old, very skinny, … needs medical attention. Please call…”
• For sale – “French antiques, 1980s original: Inlaid burlwood French Bedroom suite…”
• For sale – “Playboy magazines, 1955 to present. All complete. $5,000. ..”
• Sad – “Engagement ring, white gold, 0.25ct princess cut, worn 3 mos. …” and “Wedding dress with veil, size 8, never worn. Call…”

Who says reading the paper’s no fun?